Well, my life is all weird right now.

I had a stupid fight with mom cuz I'm going to work in door to door sales and she says I can do better.

....wait what? seriously mom? -I think to myself- serious-fucking-ly????

I wanted to tell her right there that maybe she should try and remember who was the dumb shit who gave her son a playstation and let him stare at that shit for hours, days, months until his eyes were permanently damaged and his perception of reality was distorted and his social skills were long gone....

Who was it, mom? who was the woman who had an intelligent kid under her care and turned him into a fucking looser instead of a winner?

Did you forget all the fucking potential I had when I was young? The talent, the passion for life? Did you forget how you fucked all that by keeping me inside the house playing that crap under the excuse that my health was weak?

And then one day, instead of guiding me you just asked me what I wanted to do with my life...

LIKE IF I COULD HAVE FUCKING KNOWN!!!

You thought a video game console was going to make me a man? You seriously thought I was going to jump straight from game addict to success???

You fucking delusional bitch, you dumb, dumb bitch.

I needed a guide, I needed someone to tell me what were my strengths and weaknesses.

I needed someone to tell me everything you didn't tell me when you were too busy making up excuses to keep me inside the house, making me fear life, making me doubt myself, making me waste my time...

I needed all that, but all you gave me was a fucking video game console...

...and now I'm going to sell stuff


I should have told her all that, but instead I just said "I don't give a shit about what you think"

And now it's all weird.

Maybe I'm bipolar...

I just can't figure out what the heck I am, or what is wrong with me. But there is something wrong, of that I'm sure.

Sometimes I feel good, better than ever, I feel a lot of good change coming my way and I start trying to take advantage of any opportunity I get. But sometimes I feel like disappearing.

I have already lost so many opportunities in life, I will never get them back. Sometimes I don't care about it, sometimes it kills me.

Sometimes I feel like writing something here, sometimes I feel I'm not worthy of saying a single word.

Maybe I am bipolar... a lame one.