Change is waiting for me

Little do I know about myself, little do I know about anything.
My knowledge is truncated by my obsessions.
I can feel something inside me, something that screams and shouts the truth, but I can't hear it. I'm drowned in dark waters, and the sound is muffled by my indifference.
Reality is ever so painful, my flaws are starting to turn into obstacles. My future is at risk of being turned into an everlasting seek for sympathy.
Huminity has never been in me, it was an illusion caused by my frantic mind. I wasn't being honest with myself.
Pride is taking over, pride is killing my chances. It chokes my will and hurts my selfsteem.
I should know better what I'm capable of.
I should know better than to blame my failure on others. They've done all they can do, all the very little they can do for someone else. It's me who has to change.
I have wasted enought time.
I have wasted too many years, too many chances. When will this end?

Pride, leave at once! You arenot welcome anymore! I'm sick and tired, sick and tired of this darkness you've drawn me into.

Selfsteem, please forgive my flaws, my weakneses, my stupidity! My regrest are haunting me everyday, I need to see the good in me to finally see the good in all things.

Courage, how can I find you and embrace you? How can I let you turn me into the man I want to be?

...am I too young to know? am I too worried about the things that doesn't matter?

I must change and take hold of my own destiny.

I must grow up and stop looking into the past for answers and realise there is no answer, for the question should have never existed at all. The answer will not solve anything.

I already know what I have to do.

....maybe I'm too frightened.

The amount of possibilities is overwhelming...


...I shall fear no more!